HEMA newbie? Not sure if you're hip to the jive yet? Here are some sure-fire signs that you're catching the bug.
1. You are making sure to practise your lunges as much as possible, including in the break room at work. You pray no one walks in to heat up last night's Osso Bucco while you're standing there like a confused starfish, grunting, trying to discern if your knee is over your toe or not.
2. You begin to hear "Advance! Retreat! Lunge!" looping in the back of your mind for hours and days after your last class like some kind of maddening mantra.
3. You find yourself judging the distance between you and your unwitting mates outside of class. Is Damo in advanced lunge distance, or just lunge distance? You realize you have been eyeing Damo analytically too long. He backs away (and, you think, is now out of distance).
4. You start to look forward to the sore arm you inevitably wake up with the day after class. You flex in the mirror, wondering if today is the day when your Massive Swordfighting Bicep decides to show up. It does not, but you remain hopeful.
5. You spend your free time looking up and comparing all the different types of gear - imagining yourself clad head to toe in it and giggling gleefully at the mental image.
6. You're reviewing your personal budget and adding in allowances for all this rad new gear you now have to buy. Who needs a car service? You've got a gambeson to save for. Your mother's birthday is coming up? Sorry ma, these vambraces are calling your name. She'll understand.
7. You willingly spend time listening to people debating over conflicting historical military treatises. And you are actually interested. Try telling You From Six Months Ago that this is where you were headed. They'd probably call you a nerd and sock you in the jaw.
8. You're finding it harder to explain to people. In the beginning it was easy to say "Oh, y'know. I'm doing fencing" and immediately receive nods of understanding and (possibly) interest. Now? You're still trying to figure out how best to express "Well it's fencing but it differs to the popular sports fencing and is actually more historically accurate, my discipline in particular is 19th century Italian military sabre..." before the other person literally dies of boredom in front of you.
9. You realize quickly why it is a bad idea to practice your circle cuts underneath low-hanging lighting fixtures. You're still picking glass out of things.
10. You join up to all the local and international HEMA social media groups. You now have a steady flow of gear updates, technical debates, and of course - sweet sweet sword memes. It's only a matter of time before you're jumping head first into the discourse, taking your rightful place among the Sword Dorks. They welcome you warmly. You settle in for the long haul.
Love it
ReplyDelete11. You rate job opportunities based on how easy it is to get to class
ReplyDelete12. Your credit card is permanently maxed out, and you look forward to payday not to ease the burden of interest, but to see if you can manage to buy the next piece of gear yet.
ReplyDelete13. Your neighbours greet you with wary looks on their faces, after all the times they've seen you swinging around a sword in your garden.
14. Over 50% of your YouTube subscriptions are now HEMA related channels.
P.S. Nr. 1 is a non-issue for me as I work from home, but not long ago I was giving a presentation in a team meeting, and as the webcam switched on I realised my sword, axe, and spear were visible leaning on the wall behind me (unlike you I've done mostly longsword in these first three months). Teammate's comment: "I won't pick a fight with you, then!"